Back to Cyprus & another trip planned with Exclaim motorcycle tours. Back in October, when I got married in Cyprus, me & few mates all had a day out with Richard, Fabrice & David (who make up Exclaim) & had a superb time. So a week in Cyprus had to include another go.
This time we were taking in the three peaks of Parekklisia including the infamous K3 climb.
Richard, who runs the tours, wouldn’t be joining us on the tour on his bike as he was recovering from a broken ankle. As soon as I saw him on crutches I was expecting a tale of a spectacular crash somewhere up in the mountains but no, he was teaching one of his sons how to do long jump, well people will take part in these dangerous sports…
Richard was going to catch us in a few places along the way with his Dad in his 4wd which meant the tour was being led by David (a Scotsman who has an ability to cram an incredible amount of swear words into every sentence) & then followed up by Fabrice (a Belgian who can ride far too quickly off road). On tour we had Clive, Declan, Jurg, Andrew & of course, me.
What I like about these tours is that you don’t mess about, you get straight to it at a good pace. That’s not to say you would get left behind if you’re not as experienced as the other riders as one of the guy’s acts as a “tail end Charlie”.
This trip seemed to involve a lot of climbing, which is great for exploring the throttle response of the bikes & we soon found ourselves at the top of the first peak where we could enjoy a great view.
From there we obviously had to go down but very soon we were climbing again until we ended up looking at a massive climb that the guy’s had named “K3”.
I’m not sure how many hundreds of feet this climb was but we had already been told that it was a 3rd gear climb even though it was very loose & steep enough to mean you would probably need all fours at some points to walk up it!
So after watching David go straight up with not too much bother I gave myself enough run up to get some speed & launched myself at the big hill. These bikes are amazing! It just seems that as long as you point them in about the right direction & keep the throttle pinned they will go up just about anything! The KTM I was on even rewarded me with a little jump at the top of the climb which made David chuckle.
Richard met us a bit later for a lunch break where we learned that Fabrice had taken tumble, much to the amusement of his colleges.
After a short break we were back to it & took in some fantastic tracks that we later found out were part of the route the World Rally Championship uses when it visits Cyprus. At one point, as I was chasing David along one of the tracks, I took a glance at the speedo & was a bit surprised to see it reading 100! Of course I’m still thinking in mph not kph…
When we came in October the guy’s took us to a place they call “Bikers Paradise”, a superb piece of land that has all kinds of hills to have a go at. The biggest climb there was introduced to us in October & as much as I wanted to have a go at it there was no way Jeremy (my best man) was going to let me & I have to admit to thinking better of it as I was getting married just two day’s later.
Lucky for me we ended up back there so I could have go, after K3 this was just a bump!

So another great day out where I got to see more of the Cyprus scenery, although sometimes it flashed by a bit quick…

Next stop Cadwell Park for some instructing, can’t wait!

Garry Budgen

Troodos tour was amazing. Parts of the trail were like stepping into a scene from Gladiator, the movie... with an endless horizon of golden wheat fields swaying in the breeze. Other parts were similar to taking a toboggan run without the ice... and all bits put a massive grin on my face!

In the morning, the tour was tailored towards one of our party who had absolutely NO off-road experience whatsoever so included a hefty dose welcome tutoring... then in the afternoon, the pace was up'd (big style!) and the mountains gave us a snapshot of what truly epic trails the mountains have to offer for the expert rider as well...

We only scratched the surface - OMG, from goat tracks, nature trails, woods, rivers, ascents, descents, jumps, roots, rocks, loose stuff, hard stuff, soft stuff, firm stuff, marble stuff, technical stuff to non-technical... and the culture? From 2nd century BC to Ice Cream 2000 AD and a lot in between! Including how the real people of Cyprus live.

In short, it was an absolute ball! It was like a fusion of riding the Salisbury plains, Brecon Beacons, New Forest with a touch of North Devon thrown in... BUT IN THE SUNSHINE!

A massive thank you to Richard and his wonderfully supportive family, which all came together to make it one of those life experiences that stories over a camp fire can be recounted, laughed with, enjoyed, and I dare say, some bits even get a tad exagerated, over a pint or six... brill.

Ian Griffiths (MXer, Enduro, H&H and time trial'er)

Does anyone know what exactly the collar bone does?

Because using the pain of breaking it as a guide, it should be the most important bone in the body.

I was out leading an Exclaim Tour, literally pottering along, riding 'the beast' (KTM 525 MXC Desert Racing), and generally enjoying an easy going Tour.

Approaching a gentle 3 degree right hander, with less than 1 degree camber, I looked over my shoulder to see how my Exclaim guest was doing.

Now, what happens next is a bit of a mystery... I didn't "come off" the bike, I didn't "crash" the bike... it seems 'the beast' decided to spit me off with a rate of acceleration usually only found at NASA sites.

For those interested in the technicalities, it was a lightening-quick front-end wash out, on ground that was rock solid clay, with a (highly invisible) greasy film, from the previous day's rain...

91 kgs accelerating at a rate of 50 m/s²/s in just 3 metres land squarely on the shoulder... all that force through the collar bone, who immediately says "fuck this" and decides to shatter into numerous parts.

And then pain to the power of 3 - forget your whinging ladies, I'd rather give birth to twin rhinoceros' (what is the plural for rhinoceros?).

Funny thing pain - the first instinct is to try and run away from it. This doesn't work.

David and Lawrence ride up, and for once are not laughing.

I mumble something and start walking the 400 metres to the road. Every step is an electric shock. I start reasoning and pleading with God.

I climb up to the road and approach a nearby house.

Credit to the Cypriot family who helped me - as with all the carbon fibre / kevlar full body armour, and pain-contorted face, I looked like the Predator emerging from the bush.

They kindly call the ambulance, offer me water, coffee, cake and pasteries... only in Cyprus.

I'm sitting in a chair on a dirt road 30 metres from the main road, quietly rocking & moaning like a Buddhist monk.

The ambulance arrives. I get up to walk the 30 metres to the main road. As it is a motorcycle accident, they stop me and insist on strapping me to a 6 foot plastic board. They strap this to the trolley and then... the dirt road is bumpy and every single bump is wired directly to the collar bone. I scream and plead for them to let me walk. They refuse.

I am "bounced" into the ambulance. Tears are streaming. I plead for some painkillers, or just knock me out or something.

Then the ambulance takes off. At this point I can't help but laugh (which takes the power of 3 to the power of 6...). The driver makes Juan Pablo Montoya seem smooth, graceful and a little Laura Ashley.

I'm still laughing / crying / cringing / pleading as they roll me into Limassol General Accident & Emergency.

I'm surrounded by nurses who are cutting off my top, etc. One says "you've been here before... haven't you?".

I laugh... and pass out.

For anyone interested :
2003 KTM 525 MXC Desert Racing

First road registered Feb 2004, in storage 2005-2008, low usage 195 hours, serviced regularly

SOHC 4-stroke, liquid cooled, electric start, electric fan, long distance 13 litre tank
48mm White Power USD forks, White Power PDS rear shock, Brembo brakes, Magura handlebars, KTM aluminium sump guard, KTM hand guards, LED rear light, black Excel rear rim, black sprocket
One owner from new, Cyprus road registered
Excellent condition for year - "Not for the faint hearted"

€ 3,950