| Two Blondes and a Brunette | "This has been one of a kind vacation which I extensively enjoyed and can recommend to anyone who enjoys an off-road track" Illyana Fink, Nov 2011 | |
| Three Chicks on a Trip | |
| The story before the story is very short - I NEED A VACATION. This is what I have decided about 3 years ago that once a year for one week mom goes on her OWN vacation. This is working up to the point of time were you tell a friend about it and so Monique joint who, of course, a few days later came up with Yael to join. Where to go was more difficult to decide - so many places, so little time - but as I did not intend to lose precision holiday hours we settled on a short flight and good weather like there is in Cyprus. Our tour guide (Richard from Exclaim Adventure Tours) was swiftly found and confirmed a tailored tour full of excitements for 3.5 days including triple B (bike, bed, breakfast) at a very reasonable price comparing to what is available on the market. I will try to make it sweet giving you the interesting highlights - don't nail me on the sequence or names which I can anyway not remember for my knowledge of foreign languages excludes Greek completely. Arrival at 8.00 am in similar weather we were picked up by Richard who transferred us to our lodge by car obviously, hopping under the shower and into the gear and off we go hitting base a few kilometers away in the country side with spectacular view. I have to note that it is a perfect place for a vacation home. Anyway, we are all in the right mood, giggling and laughing since we met at 3 am and people looking at us questioning what drugs we are on, ready for the ultimate experience. This laughing started basically the moment the helmets went off (with the helmet on you simply don't see...) and continued throughout our holiday with intermissions of hilarious word exchanges. Every shepherd needs to get to know his sheep, so after a short acquaintance with the ALL the family and a brief "you take this bike" we went off to training on easy terrain, showing how we are taking the turns, the ups and downs and so on. Anyway, Richard seemed pleased or he was too busy trying to follow Yael's riding skills while Monique was kicking-air looking for the ground and I was asking about a cigarette / lunch brake, we were joined by David - the second tour guide, a Scotsman, full of colorful vocabulary and as it turned out later very helpful in passing on and picking up bikes - to get to Bikers Paradise. As the name already mentions I would like to have one of these in my backyard. Sandy grounds, very little rock (or I did not hit that one), steep and shallow ups, but also downs - a real playground for all MX and Enduro fans. Communication problems are part of getting to know one another and so I found myself following Monique who just went up about 75m 40% steep mountain piece trying to catch up with Richard and Yael. And there we were - Monique and me - on the top of this hill - all the others were over the hill already - with three options to go down, which frankly none of them suited me. Eventually I was still up there checking the options and before getting lonely and lost all by my own, I decided on getting down, half holding on and in, part walking and a lot of cursing. At the bottom Richard faces me saying: You were not supposed to go up there! - well, thanks honn' - maybe make that clear next time BEFORE I get up there….. The rest of the day besides one closer look at the earth passed just fine. And yes, there was excellent lunch in between at a locally famous place with again very reasonable prices. On location Monique made it clear that no one should get into competition over eating with/against her. Yael was crushing ice and Richard and David found out that it will be difficult to stick a word when there are three women at the table. In all I was just pleased with my vacation so far. In the afternoon we went to the beach, by bike of course, which was rock partly cliff right by the sea. The driving sequence was established: Richard is first (someone needs to know where to go to), then Yael (pushy) followed by Monique and I was last followed by David. And as we are driving and enjoying ourselves, the first three are taking the left uphill, for whatever reason I decided that right looks better. Wrong choice. Right ended. I just remember: oh shit, letting go of the bike and grabbing onto the last bushes before falling down the cliff trying to move on four up the saving edge. At that point of time I did not know yet, how far the bike fell or how deep this cliff is at all. I was still busy trying to get up. David was first on location - sure he followed me, but on the left track….. Richard, Monique and Yael came over. First question was: are you alright? Something happened to you? while my head turned for the first time looking down and thinking oh shit, what's with the bike ? Thanks God, these bikes are made for throwing, too. After some climbing exercise by David and Richard, David drove the bike a bit more down to sea level and a different way up to where we were, kicked out the winch and finishing with "Gud, we hev'it un cam'rra" - you just have to lov'em ! The rest of the day passed easily, me following closely and not making my own tracks anymore. Hitting base for a few beers or shandy we were dropped off in the lodge, waiting for the dinner party to start at 8 pm while our stomachs where already squeaking from 6 onward. We made first in line at buffet and lay flat in bed at 9 pm. 18 hour days are just too much. Second day started fresh at 8 am for breakfast - about 12 brands of cereals awaited Monique including English tea and toast as well as beloved tomatoes and scrambled eggs. The girl gotta eat something! Everything fresh from the cutting board which John our host and his wife Ann took care of. A lovely couple by the way, who really are fulfilling all wishes of the guest including pickups from town if the cab driver again did not find his way. Not too sore and ready for takeoff at 9, hitting base, picking up bikes and off the road again. After some warm up with ups and downs off course, three times asking if there is no secondary road and once handing David the bike saying "will meet you upstairs" - a part that Yael decided that Monique will drive twice only for her to hit the only two stones in the radius of 50m (she has a gift for that) - , some curvy on-road driving in beautiful scenery followed by a very wet river crossing we had lunch at the beach (I ate half of Richards grilled octopus - excellent!!), and for desert we had salt planes, beaches and dunes. There is mostly just one way to go i.e. there is one track that can be followed or you can see the tracks in the dirt. The moment there is a crossway mostly there is someone waiting for you, so you know where to continue to. If not, there is David right behind you with a brief nod for directions - colorful language yes, but not of many words. ("Go' on then") As I decided that I was on vacation and did not intend to go for any broken bones, and rocks are not that much fun to fall on, I was taking it easy - as easy as I could take it going about 40 mph on gravel….. Seems that for David it was getting to bloody boring so he passed me - there was anyway just one way that I could go and no edges to fall over. He awaited me about a kilometer further, sitting on the ground, leaning against his bike and looking at the watch when seeing me. 'Fuck'off' is also colorful. The following dune decent didn't work out to well for Yael, who for some reason did not see the step down in the dunes and decided to flip it down. That was the first time that I seen David throw his bike to jump to attention and depretzel Yael. Of course it's on cam'rra and Yael also did not have any injuries - sure, with 18 you're still flexible…. In the meantime I was looking for the secondary road and managed just fine. Up as well as down. Same same in the evening we were having a ball at base rofl-ing The viper trail was scheduled on our 3rd day for which we had to get to the mountains of Cyprus up to 2000 m involving some extensive road travelling but we were rewarded with a picturesque single trail in a lonesome valley about 5m on top of the little river that by whatever means carried gigantic stones. Accidents excluded and were not thought of as there was no way a helicopter could have possibly landed anywhere near. Monique, however, had decided already in the morning putting her big-bud-pants on that it was her day to fall which she extensively exercised at any possibility including schnitzel, pretzel and full breading…… It was also David's big day as suicide is not one of my favorites so he passed the bike for me at numerous occasions (Thanks again honn'); overall I guess that was easier than having to climb after the bike while I go over the cliff again. I am not mentioning Yael who was probably born on the bike - she just drove the damn thing down and up and sideways. Because of the long road ride and the many handing of bikes we only got to lunch at about 2.30 upsetting the girls very much. Nevertheless we had to go back down - again on road - which would not have been that bad if the temperature drop due to rain would not have been that dramatically. For whatever reason Cyprus Mountains decided to drop to 14C which is kind of cold in T-shirt gear and at 80 km/h. Just as I thought it could not be worse in addition it started to rain - bad day. I tried to fold myself on the bike as good as I could. The helmet constantly bumped the handle bar, the tits were rubbing the seat and the ass, yeh, well… The exhaust of the Husqvarna that I cursed all these days for burning thru my boots and cloths became my best friend. On a stop we actually warmed our hands on the muffler which also was kinda cold…. At the time when I could not stand it anymore and was frozen stiff I decided to sing. Now, singing is not my thing in general, but with "I am walking on Sunshine - a ha,…" I at least passed the time and improved my mood extremely. At the gas stop Richard was shocked that we were still laughing (helmets went off….) and not whining like little boys. We could see him making a very interesting movement trying to rub his nipples (frozen) with the inner side of the upper arms - we suggested padded bra's and bursted out laughing again. After all this cold on-road driving we needed to take a shortcut off-road. By now it was getting dark which normally is not a problem except that you do not see anything anymore, especially when some of the bikes did not have head lights…. Well, this was not planned, at least not like this. Off-road became very difficult due to mud - it did rain. Now, for two days we have been passing at a certain corner off-road, and two days I ran on this specific corner into the wall. It was not me, I swear, there was a big stone that was completely distracting my mind. Can you image that coming from the other side and in the mud I got again distracted by that damn f*ing stone, I fell flat on my ass, cursing hell and myself while David and Monique just said LOL 'it's the corner…' , Not giving enough gas the mud wound around my tire - an experience that I thought could only happen to small wheels, I was proven wrong - until I could not move anymore. Stuck, no go. No wood in the area I dug out the mud with my hands, Richard found some branch that helped and eventually drove the bike down some 100 m to more solid grounds while I was trying not to slide on my ass downhill. The girls were patiently waiting amused by my apart walking skills. It must have been nearly 6 and completely dark when we hit base, completely exhausted and frozen stiff but still in a good mood; I think I only defrosted a few good hours after hitting bed. Last day was three peaks which included a lot of ups and downs - of course, if you want to get to the peak you need to go uphill. My conversations with David got very monotone: the answer to the question of a secondary road was always no. So I had to move my ass up there, the others were all up already. I do not have that much of a problem to get up there. My point was that I needed to get it down also. Anyway Richard tried to be very motivating and trying to pet my ego in spite of the fact that I told him that I am too old for that and that this does not work on me anymore. One of the motivational hill run ups, me cursing that I had booked that vacation to begin with, near tearing the gas in second and humping the handle bar, this time Richard on my back tire with the camera, I have a tree branch in the road. Quickly thinking that 10cm wood or rock does not make the difference I just go over it, taking the turn just to face the rest of the tree on the track. There I was, flat on the floor, me on the left, the bike on the right and both of us facing the tree from down upward. Who the hell is doing these things, just leaving trees in the way? Another one up, my back tire is dancing shimmy while my nose is about to kiss the front wheel and I finally made it to the top and just have to take an easy turn - bam - on the floor again. Richards comment: I do not understand you. You take this massive uphill that guys get scared of with no problems and then you cannot take THAT turn? The cunning answer was: Shut up! I found the perfect place in the sun! In all, this has been one of a kind vacation which I extensively enjoyed and can recommend to anyone who enjoys an off-road track. Special thanks to everyone who participated (Monique, Yael, David, Richard and family as well as John and Ann) and made it was: a wonderful ride! "The tour guide should go first" is a famous quote of Richard trying to keep Yael from just leaving us all alone in the wilderness. And this one is for David's future girl trips: Get on, sit down, hold on, shut up. ( I am not quiet sure if Richard and David are going to take another girly group - or maybe specifically an Israeli girly group. | |
| Yana |
